I’m sure when you read this title, you must have rolled your eyes and questioned the intentions of this post.
Now that I have your attention, I want to share a secret that I learned.
You don’t need to have the perfect social media page. You don’t need to post pictures “for the ‘gram.” Because after all, you’d be feeding into the social media culture, posting for validation and not living in the moment.
I fell into this trap (especially the past year). I wanted my social media feed/grid/profile to be perfect. I wanted the beautifully curated photographs at different places around the world. I wanted to be awed at my own feed like the way I felt whenever I saw someone else’s feed.
I have studied so many social media profiles and loved the combination of colors, locations, themes, outfits, filters and aesthetic. However, it became an obsession. I started to think about how to take photos, where to take photos and what photos would look best. Anytime I went out, I imagined how the setting would look for my social media profile.
I have caught myself thinking about this several times and felt so embarrassed. I felt this cognitive dissonance – I went to places, took photos, edited them and posted on my social media, even though I knew it felt so curated and fake.
I took a million photos at each place until I was satisfied with what I had. I edited them to perfection. I wanted to present and share life as art. I wanted to create and provide an escapism from my reality through the photos I took.
But here’s the thing. You don’t really see those “bad” photos or the other 100 pictures taken besides the one that was posted. Very few people know who you are beyond the photos you post.
You don’t really know what’s going on in someone else’s head even though they’re smiling like they’re having the time of their life. I can’t speak for other people, but pre- and post- production is tough. No one sees how long you prepare for photos. No one sees how long you take to photograph the best photo, select the photo to post, edit the photo and deal with the emotions that come with posting.
Should I post or not? Does this make me look silly? Does this match my feed? Why are the metrics so low?
It’s tiresome. It’s not a glorious process, at least for me.
It’s more than living this colorful, curated life just to post for some validation.
Since recognizing that, I had to take a step back and really reflect on what my intentions were. What my passion was.
Who I was doing this for anyways? Was curating a perfect social media life really worth it? Was the perfect social media page going to attract more opportunities and people?
To be honest, the answer is no. On social media, life appears to be more magical-looking than it really is. The only person that matters to me anymore is me. Sounds pretty selfish, but no amount of people or comments can dictate how my social media page/life should be. I can’t sit here and try to control things that are out of my control. I don’t need to impress anyone – I know who I am and want to live my life to the fullest. My feed can’t indicate anything about me unless you talk to me directly and get to know me personally.
Social media used to be so simple – it was more about friendships and fostering connections. Now it feels like this giant online competition of who did it better, who looks better, who can pull other people down, whose life is more interesting and other negative mindsets.
The more time I spend away from social media, the more peaceful I am with who I am. Not everything has to be posted on social media – sometimes I can take photos for me and keep it as happy memories.
And honestly, my passion is to help people. I want them to grow. I want to be the person I needed when I was growing up. I want to tell stories with my photos/videos/captions/blogs, share life lessons and watch myself grow as an adult.
When I looked at my feed recently, I noticed how colorful it is. It’s not perfect…because life isn’t supposed to be perfect. But I see a girl who’s been adding more color to her life since she’s started to realize she gets to be young only once.
The aesthetic of my feed has more to do with the growth of my mindset and building more positive experiences for myself so I can help others grow with my stories.
I realized that you get to be the age you are only once. You can’t go back to those years if you didn’t live it then (unless you know about a time machine that I don’t). Living for posting or having some beautiful feed isn’t a purpose in life. While it’s nice to have great photos, adding more color and beauty to your life is more important.
Now is the time to live. Now I want to caution you against this annoying mindset that just because you’re young, you can’t experience some things and if you’re old, you can’t be young.
It’s more than that.
It’s about making every single day worth remembering. It’s about taking those risks and going places without a care in the world. It’s about making beautiful memories and being grateful for the blessings in your life.
It’s about enriching your life to be at the most optimal level of happiness, joy, satisfaction, peace and growth.
And no amount of photos or perfectly curated social media profiles can take away from those happy memories and beautiful moments.
Me. Poojah.