Do you ever think about the type of energy you possess? Or the type of energy people have?
OK, let’s talk about that for a minute.
When you talk to certain people, you feel a certain vibe. You either feel very good or bad after you talk to them.
If you feel good, then their energy is most likely positive. You want to be with them again and keep talking with them for as long as you can. They make you feel better and attract you and others because of their outlook and attitude in life. They encourage you or inspire you to excel or reach for your dreams.
If you feel bad, then their energy is most likely negative – meaning, it’s toxic to themself and/or even you. It takes the living lights out of you and drains you. Sometimes they only talk about their problems (like nearly 90% of the time you talk with them). They constantly thrive through negativity, and it feels sometimes hopeless even talking to them. Or they bring you down as a way of being “honest” (as defined by people in YouTube comments, these are people who claim they are “brutally honest” but use it as an excuse to be rude and overly critical of you).
I’ve always been fascinated with people’s behaviors and what makes them behave the way they do. I’ve learned a great deal about this through silence and observations. Listening to people and the way they talk have opened my eyes to how people attract others to them or push them away.
Frankly, what I’ve noticed is people love being around enthusiastic, positive people. They talk so highly of the people have good energy and make them feel good too. I personally admire people who are authentic and are too determined to let their problems define who they are.
Through my self-audit, I’ve realized there were many times I’ve been negative. I’ve only talked about problems or bad things in my life. I realize just how draining it is for me to thrive in those situations and how I put those who listen to me in an awkward spot or feel helpless because no matter what solution they gave me, it was always another problem that I came up with.
I mean, can you imagine that?! Or have you also done that too?
I want to put a quick disclaimer here – it’s not wrong to talk about your problems, but sometimes you have to reconsider doing this if that’s all you talk about with people every time you meet them. Another disclaimer is that it’s OK to be the person who listens to someone who needs a safe place to talk about something that bothers them – however, be aware if this becomes a regular thing, if you get taken for granted and/or you don’t have the emotional capacity to deal with it (due to the energy you need to use to deal with your own situation).
I’ve started to become more aware of how I talk about my problems. I don’t want to be negative. I feel it’s not very helpful when dealing with situations. After all, resilience comes through changing your mindset (from negative to positive) and having hope that things can improve. I can choose to see my problems as opportunities instead of challenges that deter me from where I’m supposed to be.
Here are some ways to deal with people with negative energy:
- Stop hanging out with them. Like seriously – why do you want to allow someone to make you feel bad? It’s not worth ruining your mood. Cut toxic people out.
- Lay some ground rules about how long you are willing to listen to them and if they want a solution or not to their problem(s). This article by Healthline provides some ways on how to set your boundaries.
- Treat yourself with higher standards and with respect. Don’t let anyone take you for a ride or drain your energy. Define your negative energy tolerance and refuse to let any negative energy seep through your brain.
- Stand up for yourself. Don’t let people bully you or make you feel less than who you are. You don’t deserve negative things. Take control of the situation and define the way people treat you.
Here are some ways to change your own energy to be positive:
- Actively work on conquering your issues with determination. Nothing’s more cooler than you being your own cheerleader and rising to the top.
- Complain with intent. Be conscious about how you complain about your problems. Talk about your problems in a way where you conceptualize how to solve them instead of old plain complaining.
- Change your attitude about how you see your problems and/or the world. Yeah, the world’s a tough place and problems keep increasing, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be grateful for some things. You’re still breathing and living another day. You’ve been through some majorly tough situations in life, and you can definitely rise over your current situation. You can choose to find a way to solve your problem or learn to deal with it (so that you don’t disrupt the quality of your life with the shadows of your problems).
- Do things that make you happy. When you are happy, your energy and laughter will be infectious. You will inspire someone to better their own life or achieve their dreams.
- Strive to make every experience in your life to be positive. That way, you derive good energy and can spread the positivity to others.
Your energy is your choice. Decide if you want to be positive or negative. Decide if you want to be around people whose energy is positive or negative.
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Dress: Sherri Hill
Photography: Catch Motion Photography Studio
Me. Poojah.