I’m not very vocal about my feelings and rare thoughts like this especially online, but as a way of maybe breaking down the stigma of hiding what we go through, I want to share a bit about myself through my blogs and some tips that are helping me build my “emotional fitness” (yes, Mom, thank you for coining the word).
In many of my pictures, you see me smiling or looking like I have such a good time.
My life isn’t always what it appears to be online.
I have my moments where I cry so intensely, feel very lonely despite having X number of friends (mostly online), freak out if I’m doing too much, get so sad/upset if I know I’m not performing my best or someone I know is in a lot of pain and/or get anxious that I will get judged by people (as a result of being made fun of so much growing up).
I’ve never been that girl who went to the parties or had that big group of friends to hang out with 24/7. I’ve been a loner practically 75% of my life; the only people I really hang out with is my family and just a few treasured friends (you know who you are ;)). I’ve spent so much time being comfortable in solitude and being the real me around my family – people don’t really see that side of me based on what I choose to put online (again, a reminder that everything you see online isn’t always what it appears to be).
But recently, I’ve been pushing myself out of my comfort zone. Pushing myself to meet more people, go out to new places and explore instead of sitting comfortably on the couch and seeing people live their lives online, build new friendships with people I never imagined crossing paths with and work towards being a better human being (to myself and others).
I have to constantly remind myself that nothing is permanent and that things will change. I remind myself that despite what has happened, life isn’t always rough. Sometimes we need go through these bumps to realize our true potential of what we can be and how we can overcome these difficulties as best as we can.
These photographs are just a result of making some of these changes in my life…and that I’m just a little goofy girl who‘s still figuring it out. ?
Me. Poojah.