- They must be right, since their life is happening the way they want.
- You don’t want to accept responsibility or autonomy of your decisions and want to blindly follow what others say.
- You’re afraid of taking risks and exploring the unknown. Failure is not an option.
Strange, right?
This has been my mindset for a long time. I was very afraid to make some decisions on my own because I thought things would go wrong if I chose to do something a certain way. The bigger problem was the fact that I lacked trust in myself and my capabilities as a decision-maker. It’s taken a lot of reflection, self-analysis, courage and push to change my attitude and start making my own decisions, even if they’re not all right.
Navigating through life is tough. There are so many challenges that come up, situations that force you to make tough decisions and options to choose from that may impact you in the long-run. And it’s great to seek golden words from people who have been through the journey we are trying to embark.
But you have to remember that you weren’t born on this Earth to follow someone else’s dreams or rules. You weren’t born to live a life that isn’t by your choice or decisions.
Blindly following what others tell you to do not only decreases your ability to be independent but also makes you become narrow-minded and deny yourself the opportunity to grow.
Now I’m not saying that you shouldn’t get advice from time to time from people or seek help when you need it. There are people who provide excellent advice and guidance based on a risk analysis of a situation or having been in that situation themselves.
What I’m saying is that your life ultimately belongs to you. Your life path is determined by the choices you make. Even the choices you make to listen to and follow someone’s advice/opinions.
You could get all the advice in the world, but the final decision will be yours to make. You have to decide for you based on your assessment of a situation and consider what is the best course of action to take. People could tell you what to do, what success should look like or how you should live your life. But you have to recognize that not everyone sees the bigger picture like you do for yourself. They don’t feel everything that you do about something.
Growing up, we’ve gotten advice from people on how to live a successful life – you go to school X, choose a certain major, study hard, get a degree, get a job, get married, have kids and so forth. Certain jobs guarantee a stable life; a degree from a prestigious college is worth acknowledgement; and/or a certain car reveals status. Success has been defined by people who have seen good results from following a certain path.
But not everyone can follow that same path. Success isn’t a simple formula where you can plug x and y and hope it produces z. Everyone’s life is different. Everyone’s skills, capabilities, feelings, choices and lifestyle are different. People handle situations differently. People react to success and failure differently. If everyone followed the same path, we wouldn’t see versatility in success.
Thus, making decisions based on what is good for us/makes us happy can only be made by us. We must also have the capacity to deal with the consequences of our decisions (including our decisions to listen to others). We can’t simply blame someone for what they told us to do because we all have free will to decide what we want to do. Taking responsibility for our decisions and owning our mistakes (especially from the decisions we made) are what will lead us to a more enlightened path, which is a success in itself. Growth is a very beautiful process that can only come with time; acceptance of and trust in ourselves; the things we choose to do/feel; and lessons we learn from life.
Here are three reasons why you need to live your life according to your choices:
- So you can experience life, make mistakes, learn how to get up on your own and be ready to get up if you fall again. Every mistake, every decision (good and bad) and every choice you make will add to who you are and give you perspective. Gradually, you will be more calm and able to handle a situation with grace.
- So you can be happier doing what you want and like. Someone will always talk about you and what you did/did not do – you might as well live on your own terms and be happy. Also, blaming someone else for your choices isn’t the right move – taking accountability for your happiness and success will help you choose what is best for you in the long run.
- So you can establish self-independence, love yourself and improve your confidence as a decision-maker. You might not get it right the first time, but the next time you will love yourself for choosing to get up and rise to the challenge. You will also become a leader by taking control of a situation and understanding how to handle tough problems; plus, when you take accountability for your decisions, you will be trusted more and respected for following through what you choose to do.
We all make mistakes. But the greatest lessons can be gained from trying different things, making decisions for yourself and getting the courage to try again after you fall.
Me. Poojah.